One day, little Janice was going through a turbulent time, considering her monthly pains. She was fed up with that and the fact that boys constantly complain about the simplest things. With a fever and cold, it is as if their spleens were being ripped out. They have no idea what pain is really about. Until Janice decided they needed to comprehend. And this is the story of her new trend.
She went up to a boy, who liked her so
Yet due to his behavior she had never known
He would always tease her and call her names
So, this poor, stupid boy had himself, only, to blame
Janice walked up to this little pain in the ass
Thrusting her fist into his lower abdomen.
Surprised with the force, he landed in the grass
And, surely, was to never bother her again
“Maybe now, you will be more empathetic,”
she said strutting away, relieved with a grin,
Hearing his cries as they faded into the wind.
Janice smiled, with no intent to be apologetic.
This may be just one instance, but Janice continues punching boys in the stomach, whenever she’s pained. ‘If we should hurt one week out of the month, so should they,’ is what she thinks. It does make her feel better; like a transference to the meek. Boys look upon us as the weaker sex, yet if roles were reversed for a day, they wouldn’t stand an hour—it’d be too complex.
So they should really shut their mouths and be sweet for a change, give us back rubs (without us asking) and go out to the store without complaint. They lament about their problems, as if they’re the only ones. Just shut the hell up, and give us a kiss, or we’ll punch you in the stones.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sometimes I write about work...(teehee)
Happy Hour
It was not our typical, crappy, day at the office—anything, but theusual, really. Today was our last day. The company had been bought outmonths ago and last week we all got the final shift in the wind. Almost ayear was spent with employee morale flushing down the pipes, productionlevels decreasing with our sanity, and the five of our little cliqueconstantly being berated on our ‘lack’ of complying with company policies.
There were a couple times when we thought we would be canned, but—somewhatunfortunately—instead, we were reprimanded for our ‘bad behavior’ and‘misconduct’. By that, what I mean is that we were making the best of ourdays and positions in such a dark time. Staring at a computer screen, allday long, gets tiring and the all encompassing gloom of layoff doom aboutthe crowd, and throughout the building, creates such depression in onesminds that we could not bear to stand for it. And we didn’t. We could refused tolet it get us down, but in our frugal attempts to be optimistic, we were onlyshattered by the “Uppers.” Sounds ironic, huh?
Our little corner of the cubical universe was a bit louder, anddefinitely more obnoxious, than the rest. We would laugh, and bicker, andcackle at—and with—each other in order to maintain whatever sanity wecould grasp in our tedious routine. This, however, creates an improper workatmosphere. Apparently. It’d just be best if we sat, quietly, conductingour monkey routine in a unified and conforming manner. At least this iswhat the Notxies want. In reality, it was all personality politics.Expectations of a certain manner of conditional personalities, to be likedby the Notxies (yeah, Hitler had his favorites too). Those were the only ones whowould abstain from punishment and harassment from the ‘official’, non-cubiecrones.
We were also the ones to be out of our seats at right at 5h, butapparently, this is unethical in some form and fashion. Picking at strawswas the name of the layoff game at this point, but there was really noreason to be bullying the only people who actually knew, how to laugh andsmile in the darkest of economic times. Our company is not the only oneexperiencing changes and layoffs. The entire country is high demand forjobs, with none being supplied. It is way beyond my logic that peoplewould want to bring others down for having, in the least attempting, anoptimistic demeanor. So really? I mean REALLY?! What the fuck is ourinitiative anyways?
The answer? There really isn’t one. We were just the black sheep ofthe group, because we refused to let rules and regulations bring us downany further than we had to be. So that day, that final day, we went to grabdrinks at a bar down the road. Happy Hour at its best, to reminisce on thegood times we created for ourselves at H—. This was our timeto be at our highest volume of laughter, obnoxiousness and optimism. Withno one to stop us, no one to sneer, no one to look down on us for being whowe are.
“We’re free!” The throng of us chided as we strut out of thebuilding for the last time, ever.
“Where are these drinks, now?” Being too blind-sighted by the factthat this was it, we had not actually decided where to go for said HappyHour. To be honest? I was craving margaritas. However, I had no care in theworld where we went, so long as I had some hard liquor and decentfood.
“How about Chilis? It’s close enough for all of us and I’m cravingquesadillas,” H— chimed in response.
“I don’t give a shit! So long as I get the hell out of here and havesome cognac.”
“You and your hard alcohol, you’re poor husband will be picking youup by the time we’re done. I’ll stick to my beer and consciousness.” Ah,the constant hilarious bickering of T— and M—, always pricelessconversations.
“Well, I’m down for Chilis, I could use a margarita, and we’ll haveto all do at least one round of shots, that includes you N—.”
“Maybe one, JJ, but nothing too crazy.” “Chocolate Cake shot, it’ll be great. I promise.” With a smile, Iturned my back to them, and glaring at the building I spent a good portion oftime in this past year or so; I spit at it, then screamed as loud as Icould:
“GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!” (to be continued…)
Ice Man
This is one of my favourite articles that I wrote for one of the last classes I took at Westcon. Hope you enjoy mummies and tattoos! :)
There are many theoretical reasons towards the attraction of tattoos. People feel a need to express their individuality or remembrance of a person of chapter in their life. Also, there are theories of social acceptance, rebellion, and deviance in youths. However, we seldom hear about the studies with conclusive research debating whether or not tattoos are, or have been, used for medicinal purposes.
Introducing this theory is a 5,300 year old mummy found frozen in the Alps, discovered in 1991. Otzi, named after the valley in which he was recovered, has groups of markings on his back, legs and ankles. Scientists have proclaimed significant comparison of these markings to ancient versions of tattooing. These tattoos are bluish-black, some said to be lacerations filled with herbs and others produced from ashes injected into the skin with thing wood or bone.
Forensic experts examined the mummy’s body and were able to conclude that Otzi suffered from back pain, whipworm and arthritis of the ankles, knees, spine and hip joints. The markings on Otzi are in very close relation to specific acupuncture points used to heal such maladies in the body. Specialists have measured these tattoos on Otzi’s body and found that nine of the markings were directly on, or 6 millimeters from acupuncture points. Two others were located in the meridian, which is a key focal point of Qi energy flow.
Traditional Chinese acupuncture is a means of balancing and restoring energy in the body by inserting needles into certain points on the body. With the discoveries made in comparing the tattoos on Otzi’s body to acupuncture, scientists are negotiation the idea that acupuncture originated in Europe and not in China.
Otzi has a little over 50 tattoos on his body, some are crosses and the others form groups of 3 or 4 small lines. His tattoos may not have been beautiful, artistic figures or images, but they provided a purpose of the utmost importance. Have we finally found an insight providing positive aspects of tattoos? Tell Grandma to quit her nagging and negative similes portraying any tatted persons to that of an insidious pirate or Hell’s Angel. If scientists can be intrigued and hold a certain respect in their chronicles of human discoveries, then perhaps a little ink here and there, now, is not so bad. Who knows what the future will theorize about their history, looking back upon us now.
There are many theoretical reasons towards the attraction of tattoos. People feel a need to express their individuality or remembrance of a person of chapter in their life. Also, there are theories of social acceptance, rebellion, and deviance in youths. However, we seldom hear about the studies with conclusive research debating whether or not tattoos are, or have been, used for medicinal purposes.
Introducing this theory is a 5,300 year old mummy found frozen in the Alps, discovered in 1991. Otzi, named after the valley in which he was recovered, has groups of markings on his back, legs and ankles. Scientists have proclaimed significant comparison of these markings to ancient versions of tattooing. These tattoos are bluish-black, some said to be lacerations filled with herbs and others produced from ashes injected into the skin with thing wood or bone.
Forensic experts examined the mummy’s body and were able to conclude that Otzi suffered from back pain, whipworm and arthritis of the ankles, knees, spine and hip joints. The markings on Otzi are in very close relation to specific acupuncture points used to heal such maladies in the body. Specialists have measured these tattoos on Otzi’s body and found that nine of the markings were directly on, or 6 millimeters from acupuncture points. Two others were located in the meridian, which is a key focal point of Qi energy flow.
Traditional Chinese acupuncture is a means of balancing and restoring energy in the body by inserting needles into certain points on the body. With the discoveries made in comparing the tattoos on Otzi’s body to acupuncture, scientists are negotiation the idea that acupuncture originated in Europe and not in China.
Otzi has a little over 50 tattoos on his body, some are crosses and the others form groups of 3 or 4 small lines. His tattoos may not have been beautiful, artistic figures or images, but they provided a purpose of the utmost importance. Have we finally found an insight providing positive aspects of tattoos? Tell Grandma to quit her nagging and negative similes portraying any tatted persons to that of an insidious pirate or Hell’s Angel. If scientists can be intrigued and hold a certain respect in their chronicles of human discoveries, then perhaps a little ink here and there, now, is not so bad. Who knows what the future will theorize about their history, looking back upon us now.
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